"
Well, it could be a highly magical and symbolic horn of great power. On the other hand, it could just be a tatty old drinking horn, for all I know." –
Brother Mace
Animal horns appeared as
clue objects in every
season of
Knightmare, and were often useful, although some got
dungeoneers into trouble (even bringing one quest to a memorably entertaining end).
For
Team 6 of Series 1 and
Team 3 of Series 2, a horn once owned by Joshua was vital to the completion of
Level 3, as they could only bring down the wall of
Jericho by blowing it six times. The latter
team were successful, but the former had foolishly rejected it in favour of a dagger.
Joshua's horn also appears as a Level 2
clue object in the first Knightmare gamebook,
Can You Beat The Challenge. Trying to use it in the wrong situation is at best unhelpful, at worst fatal.
In
Series 3, an
elf horn was twice used to summon
Velda for help in fighting off a
Behemoth; she was angry about them using the horn of
Elvandis, as
Golgarach described it. Desperate housewife
Mrs. Grimwold was keen to get her own hands on the horn, but would not
reveal what she intended to do with it: "
Oh dearie, no, that's my secret - oohh, I couldn't tell you that, dearie!" The mind boggles.
Gwendoline also came to the rescue upon hearing a horn (when
Skarkill was menacing
Team 4 of Series 5).
Sylvester Hands gave
Team 4 of Series 7 a horn with which to call him, but they passed it on to
Grimaldine who was seeking an Opposition minion to interrogate, and earned themselves a
firestone for doing so.
Julius Scaramonger took a hunting horn off his assistant '
Young Grimwold' before trying to sell it to
Team 6 of Series 6. Dungeoneer Sophia persuaded him to part with a different sort of horn - a
dragon caller imported by
Lord Fear.
Team 2 and
Team 5 of Series 6 both picked up horns in Level 1 that were never needed. (Team 5 should have taken a bar of
silver instead, but were not punished for the error.) Horns were also left in clue rooms by
Team 3 of Series 6 and
Team 6 of Series 8, who were told to "
Be quick and be quiet" in Linghorm.
Team 5 of Series 8 were given the
scroll clue "
Music to wake him. Fire to feed him". This referred to
Smirkenorff, who was awakened using a horn.
The most widely remembered horn in Knightmare was undoubtedly the
goblin hunting horn, whose sudden blaring sound can still give full-grown adults the willies. First heard in episode 3 of Series 3, it usually signalled the approach of a goblin patrol, though it came to be used on its own as a warning for teams to hurry up.
Oddly, no goblins were ever seen carrying a horn. Odder still, the same sound was used in
Series 8 to accompany
Miremen and even
Snapper-Jack!
A goblin horn was sometimes carried by Sylvester Hands for the purpose of calling in backup. He winded it just before capturing
Team 4 of Series 6 ("
I 'AVE TO BLOW MY 'ORN!"), and threatened the same if
Team 6 of Series 7 showed any resistance. He also
tricked
Team 9 of Series 5 into buying a goblin caller, telling them it would summon
Robin Hood; they incurred the wrath of Gwendoline by using it to scare off an
assassin.
A worse fate befell
Team 2 of Series 5 when they grabbed a horn, rather than a gold bar, in their haste to
escape from
Ariadne’s lair. They heroically tried to bluff their way past Skarkill with tales of a "magic horn" that could bring him riches, only to come unstuck when he asked to hear what it sounded like: "
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That's a goblin horn... and I am Skarkill, master of the goblins!"
"
Magic horn? Oh no it's not! I'm gonna put my irons on you!"
Team 4 and
Team 6 of Series 4 blew a shrill, discordant version of the goblin horn, called Terror, to deafen and repel goblins outside the
Castle of Doom and
Dungarth. On the latter occasion it came in useful again as a bribe for
Fatilla, with
Dickon managing to convince him it was ancient and very important.
Team 2 of Series 8 found a curious item called the
ACME self operating danger horn. It was not for blowing, but automatically sounded an alarm (identical to the goblin horn) when they entered the
Raining Fireballs room. They later tried offering it to
Brother Strange, who wasn't interested: "
A bauble, a bauble! I have no need for horns!"
Different sound effects were used from time to time.
Team 3 of Series 5 heard a horn twice during their quest - once when Julius Scaramonger was poaching a deer in the forest, and later when
Sir Hugh approached them on horseback. In Series 8, the foxhunting call known as 'Leaving the Meet' seemed to be associated with
Skeletrons. Faerie knights can be heard sounding bugles in
The Future King gamebook.
In the final episode of Series 3, a horn dramatically materialised in the
Level 2 clue room to signal the end of the original
dungeon. "
When the third blast sounds, the dungeon will disintegrate, only to reform for the next age."
Goblin horns made a
return in the 2013 YouTube episode, but without the original sound effect, much to the disappointment of many
watchers. Daisy blew one in an attempt to rouse
Treguard from his
sleep; another was heard as Garstang entered the Level 2 clue room.
Some of the programme's funniest double entendres were horn-related.
David Learner (
Pickle) told Debbie Glover that he once blurted out "
Dickon's got the horn, master!", though it was evidently cut before broadcast. When stopped by Fatilla, Dickon himself offered to "
give you a horn", to the obvious amusement of actor Michael Cule. Along similar lines, Sophia ordered Julius Scaramonger to "
Give me the horn or else!", Treguard noted that Team 4 of Series 7 "
also have the horn", and Series 8 advisor Gideon exclaimed "
You could give him the horn, Daniel!" when Brother Strange wanted a favour in exchange for his magic. Perhaps Fatilla wasn't referring to the
Helmet of Justice when he called them all "
horny dunger-fingies".