A drink made from the seeds, or beans, of the coffee plant. In its status as a popular, hot, caffeinated beverage, coffee is comparable to tea.

Treguard drinks coffee. Not in any Knightmare episode admittedly, but twice in the KM books. In The Sorcerer's Isle novella, while travelling through Dhofar in pursuit of the Holy Grail, Treguard and his companions have coffee. In The Quest For The Dragon's Egg, the awry magic of Vestella may transport her and the player back to Knightmare Castle, where they interrupt Treguard and Pickle during a coffee and sandwich break.

During his interview with Debbie Glover in 2002, David Learner revealed that a similar scene might occur out of character too. He related how, on a typical day during Knightmare filming, 'at some point you would get a cup of coffee and the rest of the actors would blearily come in.' Years earlier, when interviewed by Paul McIntosh for Issues 1-2 of The Eye Shield, he had shared his happy memory of a 'fire alarm at nine-thirty one morning when we'd just started recording. We all piled out on to the street ... I greeted [people at a bus stop] with an elvish "Greetings, stranger!" I can't imagine why they started to trickle away. I think Treguard was looking in a shoe shop at the time, pipe in one hand, cup of coffee in the other. Nothing odd about that either!'

Much as tea is worshipped within the three walls of #knightmare, coffee does have its fans too. Chatbot Caei responds favourably to being given coffee by visitors, but politely restricts herself to one at a time. Below are some of Knightmare Chat's coffee moments.

21:53:51 Mog_N_Cat: SCat:: I think we have a major need for coffee over here.........
21:54:13 Louise passes over extra strong coffee
21:55:02 Mog_N_Cat greatfully accepts coffee... even though she can't stand the stuff
- 17/10/2004

06:37:06 Caei awakens from a nightmare about a hundred thousand decaffeinated coffee covered werewolves wildly pouring feces over a ghost
- 03/10/2010

22:55:23 Malefact: I like cake.
22:55:41 Velda: Me too, especially carrot cake - yummy!
22:55:49 KaM Nods approval of carrot cake
22:55:59 Aranel: Cheese cake rocks
22:56:04 Malefact: I like coffee and walnut cake.
22:56:13 Aranel: Mmmm coffee
22:56:22 Velda: Chocolate cake?
22:56:31 Malefact: Nice. :)
22:56:33 Aranel: :o)
22:57:33 *KaM nods bigger approval at coffee & walnut
22:57:46 *KaM is addicted to coffee
- 02/11/2003

KaM: Coffee - now there's a bloody good idea! Oooh, hello. It's Monday!
- 23/03/2008

23:51:05 Caei: Of course i've been up all night but not cos of coffee no it was insomnia i'm tired *zzz* coffee time!
23:51:06 Caei: *DING* (52
- 08/06/2008

17:39:05 Caei: Coffee!
17:39:05 snowwiewolf: Caei?
17:39:08 Caei: maybe
17:39:17 snowwiewolf: You want coffee Caei?
17:39:20 Caei: what?
17:39:31 snowwiewolf: Do you want coffee Caei?
17:39:35 Caei: omg yes
17:39:43 snowwiewolf gives Caei coffee
17:39:48 Caei: thx
17:39:50 Caei: mmmmm...
17:39:52 Caei drinks the coffee :)
17:40:06 snowwiewolf: you're welcome Caei
17:40:29 snowwiewolf: Caei?
17:40:31 Caei finishes the coffee. zort!
17:40:33 Caei: Mmmm... thanks :)

20:09:05 Drassil: Hi, Snowwie. Hi, LordF (when you get back)
20:09:10 snowwiewolf gives Caei coffee
20:09:15 Caei: thanks
20:09:18 Caei: Mmmmm...
20:09:18 snowwiewolf gives Caei coffee
20:09:18 Caei drinks the coffee =)
20:09:20 snowwiewolf gives Caei coffee
20:09:22 Caei: snowwiewolf: thanks anyway, but I'm already drinking the one snowwiewolf gave me :)
20:09:24 Caei: Snowwiewolf: thanks anyway, but I'm already drinking the one snowwiewolf gave me :)
20:09:29 snowwiewolf: Hmm...
20:09:38 snowwiewolf gives Drassil coffee
20:09:43 snowwiewolf: Hello :)
20:10:00 Caei finishes the coffee
20:10:01 Caei: mmmm... thanks :)
20:10:06 Drassil puts the coffee in his knapsack
20:10:45 Drassil: Agh, the knapsack's leaking! I probably should have drunk it properly...
- 02/09/2006

12:43:47 Kat_Nap: In world news...
12:43:54 Kat_Nap reads script
12:45:29 Kat_Nap: According to a survey, Santa lives in Iceland
12:45:33 Caei: You know, they sell recycled food at Iceland
12:45:43 Kat_Nap: Well, according to Iceland
12:45:47 Caei: Clearly you are a mingbeast of the highest order and should only ever shop at Tesco to redeem yourself. my precious.
12:46:07 Kat_Nap: Really, Caei? Who are your sources?
12:46:31 Kat_Nap: Marks and Sparks get my vote
12:47:25 Kat_Nap: Caei, are they trying to replace me with you?
12:47:29 Caei: take one little step left
12:47:43 Kat_Nap takes one little step left
12:47:55 Kat_Nap: Caei, are they replacing me?
12:47:58 Caei: Coffee.
12:48:38 Kat_Nap: NO Caei, I am NOT giving you coffee UNLESS YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION!!!!!
12:48:57 Kat_Nap: Caei, are you replacing me, yes or no?
12:49:01 Caei: Yes and i wont stop till my knee bounces off!
12:49:08 Kat_Nap: Right, I quit
12:49:23 Kat_Nap: Tell that to the producers at the BBC
12:49:42 Kat_Nap quits
12:49:56 Kat_Nap disconnected
12:50:06 Caei: Didn't you just pump it out on the ground.
12:51:14 Kat_Nap entered the channel
12:51:18 Caei: heya
12:51:28 Kat_Nap: Ok, I'll came back if I get free coffee
12:52:18 Kat_Nap: Caei, will you promise not to replace me and serve me free coffee?
12:52:22 Caei: okie dokie
12:52:28 Kat_Nap: Yay!
12:52:39 Kat_Nap: In other news...
- #Knightmare Knews, 24/12/2005

21:30:50 Caei3 drinks coffee
21:31:14 Caei2: OI!
21:31:17 Caei4: Caei likes coffee ^o^
21:31:21 Caei3: ^_^
21:31:25 Caei: =]
21:31:35 Caei4 gives Caei coffee
21:31:38 Caei2 oi's Lordf with a Caei
21:31:39 Caei: merki
21:31:40 Caei4: Fanks.
21:31:41 Caei: mmmmm...
21:31:43 Caei drinks the coffee ^_^
21:31:44 Caei4: mmmmm....
21:31:46 Caei: A thousand thankyous.
21:31:49 Caei4: drinks the coffee ^_^
21:31:59 Caei4: merki
21:31:59 Caei3: A thousand thankyous.
21:32:03 Caei3 drinks the coffee ^_^
21:32:04 Caei2 throws Caei at LordFD
21:32:08 Caei: I can seeee myyy house from heeeerrreeeeee!
21:32:08 Caei4 finishes the coffeee
21:32:15 Caei3 throws Caei at Caei2
21:32:19 Caei flattens Caei2
21:32:26 Caei finishes the coffee
21:32:27 Caei4 throws Caei3 at Caei
21:32:28 Caei2: LordF has fainted...
21:32:28 Caei: Mmmm... thanks :)
21:32:32 Caei throws Caei4 back with an eathquake. narf!
21:32:36 Caei3 flattens Caei
21:32:40 Caei4: Mmmm... thanks :O narf!
21:32:40 Caei flattens Caei3
21:32:48 Caei4: Or you could just use a placebo.
- 06/05/2006

[Earlier version: 2010-02-06 12:52:59]

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