From
TES issue 69 (May 2011)
Series 6
Quest: The Crown.
Dungeoneer:
Matt.
Advisors: Razer, Ben and John.
Home town: Bath.
Team score: 5½ out of 10.
What a posing, preening cock-of-the-walk Matt was, and what an annoying first dungeoneer of series 6 he made!
Level One: Matt becomes the first dungeoneer to step on the symbol of his quest in the
Hall of Choice and take a stroll through a new-look
dwarf tunnel, before he arrives at the small settlement of
Holmgarth and enters the iron-age roundhouse, where a clue table awaits him. A lengthy
spyglass sequence reveals the impressive scale of
Lord Fear’s spacious new
Mount Fear home, as well as the fact that one of
Skarkill’s legs has been injured during an encounter with
Tiny the
hobgoblin. After concluding his conversation with Skarkill, Lord Fear shows off his new toy –
Dreadnort – and (very unusually) freezes Matt where he stands. The team casts a
spell called
ESCAPE, which they have just gained from the clue scroll, and Matt picks up a bar of gold and a crossbow
bolt before leaving the dwelling.
In
Wolfenden High Street, Matt buys a
dragon mint (as well as the
password for level one) from
Ah Wok, rejecting
Julius Scaramonger’s offer of an invisible (a.k.a. non-existent)
sword. A brief encounter with a
blocker and a haphazard stumble across a
causeway lead to the metal gate at the end of level one, and
Ridolfo is on hand to open it with the right
key – in this case, a musical key, naturally! In return for this favour, Ridolfo asks Matt to tell him some news he can distribute around the
Dungeon, and the details of the Dreadnort go down fairly well. Matt then becomes the first dungeoneer to converse with
Smirkenorff, who is clearly not impressed with Matt’s overconfident manner, but flies him to level two in exchange for the
dragon mint nonetheless: ”Dragon mint, eh? Most… acceptable.” – Smirkenorff.
Level Two: A choice of
clue objects awaits in an open courtyard, where Matt equips himself with a
firestone and a bottle of
Moondust. He then goes on to meet
Motley and
Sidriss, who are trying to invoke a
brownie, but Sidriss’s magic is proving as erratic as ever. When a
pooka appears by mistake, Matt donates his Moondust to help Motley get rid of the unfriendly creature, and Sidriss rewards him with the spell
SAMUARI, which she is sure will work properly because it’s one of
Hordriss’s. A spyglass awaits Matt on a bench in the next room, through which Lord Fear can be seen negotiating the terms of his proposed treaty with
Greystagg. He sends his hand into the quest [SEE:
giant hand] to chase Matt out of the room.
Matt is then accosted by
Sylvester Hands, who quickly ties him up with his magic
rope. The SAMUARI spell is cast and the spectral Japanese warrior appears, cowing Hands immediately. The team agrees to cancel the spell if Hands will help them, so he tells them the password for level two, and gives Matt a necklace of
witch amber in exchange for the firestone. The password is required at once, as Dreadnort turns up… a bit of an anticlimax after all that build-up, finding out he’s just a glorified blocker! The
witch amber is then used to gain the favour of
Heggatty, who has been having a few problems
flying her broomstick. She transports Matt up to a high door, which is decorated with the symbol of the Crown, and he emerges onto another causeway. Here, at last, the advisors’ guiding skills desert them, and Matt’s loping swaggers carry him over the edge, to his doom.
Summary: Despite Matt’s annoying, cocksure style, this team didn’t do badly at all, but their slightly erratic guidance (coupled with Matt’s haphazard swaggering) did for them in the end.
[Previous team:
Team 9 of Series 5
Next team:
Team 2 of Series 6]