Knightmare Lexicon - A Knightmare Encyclopædia

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1. Season 2 Team 3
From: St Helens, Merseyside
Quest: Chalice
Duration: 30 minutes
Progress: Level 3, 5th Room
Died: Turned to Stone by the Medusa
Trivia: 1st team to reach Level 3 in this Season. Also the only team to have been effectively 'killed' along with their dungeoneer.

Characters: Granitas of Legend, Olaf, Mildread, Folly, Cedric, Mogdred, Bumptious, Cavernwights, Medusa
Clue Objects: Herb, Egg Timer, Egg, Charm / Amulet / Destructor, Key, Spade, Magic Shield / Shield, Horn, Jewel

Quest Summary
Level 1, Level 2, Level 3, Final Thoughts

The Team
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Christopher (Dungeoneer)

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A pretty good team really only faultering towards the very end. Just a shame about the scouse accent, which tends to show during times of panic. Also what is it with the ties? When embarking upon a Quest through a dungeon most wouldn't actually be that bothered about looking smart for the cameras. It's rather clear however that Chris wasn't told about the Yellow shirt plans. They're not the only team in Knightmare to choose Yellow as their main colour either. It's unknown if it's something to do with the colour being a complement of blue.

 Level 1
 [Related Image] Their quest began with an uncommon start this Season, the Wheel of Fate actually stopped on the room they pulled the lever on allowing them to enter.
 [Related Image] And so we got to see a room only encountered once this Season and never again. It's a modified version of one room encountered at the end of Season 1. Unlike most teams they were quick to realise they needed to follow instructions and ring the bell. The sound team obviously wanted to show off a little here with a one off sound effect and also adding footstep sounds when walking over the metal grill.
 [Related Image] Into a chamber that's rather common in this Season, this time inhabited by a "large worm". It is of course a snake so there's no telling what kind of worms Treguard's been encountering lately. The teams instructions were rather plain and simple "hurry up!".
 [Related Image] Into a "medium sized room" when in fact it's the same size as all the other rooms really. It is of course one of the 2 Level 1 clue rooms used this Season. One little great bit here is that when Christopher is informed there's a table in front of him he automatically walks a little forward. But he's not a happy guy "the table's not in front of me". Perhaps he should try tilting his head back a bit more like the rest. He's soon guided slightly left and the team knowing the drill tell him to walk around to the other side of the clue table.
 [Related Image] Granitas of Legend makes an appearance. "Face me or perish, please me or walk in ignorance". Treguard is of course familiar "Oh dear it's Granitas the deadliest wall monster in the dungeon". Of course if Olgarth of Legend was around he'd likely disagree. Granitas as usual asks his 3 riddles seeking Truth...

1. The day is past, the race is run. Second to last I came, and I was third. But how many in the race?
Answer: 4
Answer given: 3
Result: Falsehood.
The team is lacking in logical reasoning stating there was 3 in the race. What a stupid answer really, if someone is second to last then they're not last. If there were 3 in the race and the person came 3rd in the race they would be last!

2. From an egg I was born, with no feathers to dry. Birds I may be but I never fly. Cold blooded I am, but what am I?
Answer: A Reptile
Answer given: Reptile
Result: Truth Accepted.
The team were quickly prompted by Treguard asking them to think about which chamber they've just come from.

3. There are 60 seconds in a minute but how many firsts are there?
Answer: 1
Answer given: 1
Result: Truth Accepted
A strange but simple riddle. The team ask Granitas to repeat the question. And then Treguard helps them out again "How many firsts are there in anything?".

So they get 2 correct earning a clue from Granitas although there's no reason for them not to have gotten 3 right and Treguard helped out a lot. Granitas informs them their quest is to find the Chalice but they may not drink from it.
The clue they gained is "To descend you will need a herbal remedy".
 [Related Image] The clue objects are the usual:
A pineapple (food for life force)
A herb cutting
An egg timer
An egg

They take the "leaf" and the egg timer.
 [Related Image] On entering the Fire Cave Treguard taunts to the team "be careful not to fry your dungeoneer *cackle* *laugh*" he really is rather nasty at times. It's a simply task of getting from one side of the other whilst avoiding the flames. The team ensures Christopher knows to go "slooowly" until they say to go quickly. They do rather push things though by standing right next to a soaring flame, which in reality would've soon set Christophers trousers on fire. Now that would've been fun.
 [Related Image] Olaf makes his first appearance in the Vale of Worms which is rather fitting given he's about as clever as one. Olaf has a rather annoying but obligatory fake Scandanavian accent. The worms in question are just maggots but the effect is rather good. Olaf gives the team 3 options:
Loot, Pillage, Worms
Of which there are pleanty. Treguard is rather disgusted by the "Scandanavian Tourist". Rather begs the question why tour operators in Scandanavia are sending people on package holidays to Knightmare's dungeons.
 [Related Image] The team selects "Loot" which prompts Olaf to tell them to offer him something, which they do... the egg timer. He seems rather happy with the offering such that it would probably have made no difference what they offered him. Olaf takes his leave to go time his eggs to perfection.
 [Related Image] Into a regular room this Season described by the team as being "smallish" yet it's no different in size to the "medium" room. Treguard rather oddly is sat both in the chamber and still in the Antechamber with the team. The Treguard in the chamber puts on a sickly sweet voice trying to tell Christopher to climb into the well.
 [Related Image] The team taking glances at Treguard are quick to realise that he's either having a stroke or something's not right. They opt for the latter telling Christopher to ignore the instructions. This in turn prompts Treguard to overpower Mildreads hold over him and instruct her to "cease at once".
 [Related Image] Mildread is rather overjoyed by her mischieve asking Treguard how it feels to be a statue. Treguard threatens to arrange for Mildread to meet Merlin if she does it again. Promising that she "won't enjoy it". Makes you wonder what Merlin and Mildread would get up to.
 [Related Image] The team hand the herb over to Mildread who uses it to conjour a "deep dark well". The wellway that was really a cauldron is turned back into a wellway into which Christopher climbs in and drops into Level 2.

So far Chris the 3rd advisor seems to have done very little for the teams efforts leaving all the work to Kenneth and Paul who've done most the speaking. Perhaps he's just shy. Also the team were given a lot of help through the questions in the clue room. Finally the encounter with Olaf was an easy one. So a fairly easy Level 1, will Level 2 challenge them.

Level 2
Christopher has a fantastic aim landing right next to Folly, who of course completely over-reacts. Treguard tells him not to be so stupid to be sitting under a well, which is good advice if only the landing point was consistant. Folly gets his revenge in implying Christopher should watch his weight when handing him some food. He then instructs the team to listen for he's abouts to bore them with a riddle.
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"Flashy Jack was quick to act, but thought about it later. While stodgy Sid just thought and thought but actually did not savour. But steady John said 'Steady on I'll think while I have time but when time's run out it's best to act before I'm in the slime'. Now tell me Christopher and don't delay except of course for thought are you like John, or Jack, or Sid. Choose right and gain reward."

The team answer with "John", which is the correct answer so Folly rewards them with some magic in the form of the spell WEB. Apparently you've got to be cautious but not too cautious to use magic. Whatever that means!
 [Related Image] Onto the Mills of Doom, with their first appearance in Knightmare. Not really that hard, just a matter of stepping from one cog to another. Timing isn't even important if you jump them. The dungeoneer isn't spun around either so they don't even lose balance. The team tackles the obstacle like most tasks by going "sloooowwly". However on the 1st cog when instructed to go for some reason Christopher thinks they want him to side step left. Which is rather bizarre because they never gave any such instruction. He's lucky though as he didn't step off the edge. The rest of the task they tackle without a problem though.
 [Related Image] So into "The Vale of Worms" Level 2 style. The difficulty here is to walk forwards in a straight line without falling off the narrow bridge. So in actual fact not very difficult at all, most likely just added into the quest as eye candy. It's more or less like the other bridge room only with maggots added for extra effect. Shame it's not Season 3 as a haunted sword or other haunting would've been good.

"Halt! Stay where you are bacon features. Intruder alert level 2! The password or you perish at once." says Cedric the Mad Monk, in a way only someone with Tourettes Syndrome could (Thanks Jen).
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Not knowing what to do or say to this 2nd insult on Christophers weight problem Harry Potter (Chris) speaks up for the first time with some spell casting. He casts WEB which traps poor Cedric behind an oversized WEB of the type that would usually be produced by Ariadne. They make a prompt exit. Of course Christopher doesn't appear to have an issue with over-eating at all so it's rather unfair he's being picked on like this.

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Now it's time for some clue room objects and a bit of food of course, just what are the production team trying to say? But of course Mogdred interferes by making his face appear, trick like that is bound to piss someone off. He does his usual amount of laughing. Being evil he selects a different tact on his insults calling Christopher "brainless". At least he's honest in saying we'll quail if we look at him. He makes an appointment with Christopher to meet him later on the path. Treguard steps in with his obligatory dribble on evil and good.
 [Related Image] So now he's finished with the bible talk it's time to check the clue objects. The charm also known as the amulet turns out to be a destructor that quickly drains life force. Means it's pretty obvious which clue objects to take though and so the team does so. They examine the key carefully but Treguard hurries them on into taking the giant spoon & key. Would probably be embarrasing if they spotted the poor craftsmenship on the props.

Entering the Mine Bumptious the grumpy old miner begins mouthing off at Christopher for walking in with a spade without permission. Oh dear seems the team did manage to insult the props, suppose it makes up for the insults about Christophers non-existent weight problem. Bumptious is being rather illogical in this meeting too in that he says he doesn't care "who you are or what you say". His reason, because you need a card for access to the site. So in otherwords he doesn't care if we tell him we have a card. Strange man. Doubly strange because apparently he's a Dwarf yet there seems to be very little that's Dwarvish about him. Except that he likes lingering in dark caves.

Being a rather uptight member of the miners guild HOGG he quotes from the rule book. He demands to be given the spade so that the team isn't breaking the rules about entering a site with a spade. Bizarre world. He grants the dungeoneer temporary membership of HOGG so that Christopher can do his work for him. Despite performing a clear blast of the caves wall Bumptious informs them they'll never make a good miner, but might make a good dungeoneer. That remains to be seen.

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 [Related Image] Following the usual description Treguard goes all psychic and senses that something is coming. As he usually does when he wishes the team would stop screwing around and just get on with things. The team are careful not to step over the bones showing respect for the dead and use the key to open the locked portal. Nothing does come, except for a laugh from Mogdred.
 [Related Image] Mogdred laughs over the top of the teams description of the chasm and then says hello to the team. He offers to show the team how he can pull their strings! A rather bold statement, leaving us unsure as to if Mogdred can be trusted around children. Well he is evil!

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The team begins by instructing Christopher to walk over to the well. He does so by using the tilt your head back technique. Treguard buts in by telling them there's something essential to their quest. Yes that's right the gold thing in the top right is part of the Chalice even though it looks like a part of the backdrop. They grab the food from the well and Mogdred begins his laughter again. Something must be seriously amusing him. Then heading for the piece of the Chalice Mogdred reaches into the chamber towards Christopher. His hand is rather shakey though and his wrist must be caught on something because he doesn't do very well in capturing the current hero. As you'd expect a quick escape is made down the well onwards and downwards into Level 3.

Level 2 seems to have been just as easy as Level 1 if not in fact easier. The challenge in both levels has been the answering of riddles. Although Folly's was an all or nothing situation, it wasn't a difficult riddle. Merlin encounters in Level 2 are typically much harsher than this. Although Level 2 had more rooms than Level 1 but most of them were a straight forward walk on through affair. The clue objects were once again impossible to get wrong and the damage to life force by the destructor inconsequential. In fact the life force following got put onto pause on multiple occasions. Proving the life force is rather random speeding up and slowing down as it pleases. The only challenge in this part of the uest was right at the start of the {level by Folly whos riddle if they hadn't got right would've left them unable to handle Cedric the Mad Monk. But given it was multiple choice the answer was plain and simple. Mogdred despite his many appearances and laughter did nothing except taunt the team and never posed a real threat. Basically any team that appears this Season could've easily completed this level. Except perhaps Akash and friends.

 Level 3

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In Level 3 we're treated to a small remix of the classic Knightmare tune. The skeletons on the ground leap up unexpectedly and you expect something to happen but they just collapse again. Such a wasted opportunity really. The danger is presented in the form of Cavernwights, basically blind Ewoks in cloaks. It's suspected that begging children were kidnapped off the streets, had both eyes poked out by Tim Child and then thrust into the blue room. Almost walking into one of these poor souls and having his Knapsack nicked Christopher is guided deftly to the right hand portal.

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A huge challenge to the team presents it's self as they struggle to work out left from right for their first time. The reason being that Christopher is facing towards them. It's rather amusing to watch them trying to face the other way in their seats to work it out. But there's no time for such mistakes now as this is Level 3.

Much of interest and much of value according to Treguard. Not having any clues simply because there's been no opportunity for them to be given any, the team opt for the Jewel and the Horn. This is where the team make their mistake but then they'd not been given any opportunity to find out the correct choice. With so few having reached Level 3 before they'd no prior experience to look upon either. The blind children er.. Cavernwights make a reappearance through one of the portals and so they make a quick escape.
 [Related Image] Christopher gives the horn a good blow, 6 times in fact to make the wall of Jericho disappear. They walk into one of Merlins places upto the table to touch a Chalice part. Being his usual bubbly self he scares the now chasing Cavernwight off.
 [Related Image] So this is why there's no Mogdred in Level 3 this time, he's been transformed into Merlin. This entire encounter is all pointless given that the production team already knows they've lost. Merlin grants them a spell for free called UNITAS. The purpose of this spell is never revealed, although Merlin hints about needing to find a way out. The Cavernwights return to encourage Christopher up the stairs.
 [Related Image] "Doom, Doom, Doom, Doom...." The pessimistic gargoyle apparently has extremely bad effects on life force. So they hurry on through.

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The very eerie Medusa makes her first appearance complete with subtle but spooky background sounds. They needed to hold the magic shield to stay alive but all they have is a Jewel. Such a shame because things were really starting to pick up pace and get interesting. The team's very disheartened as Treguard explains the situation.

Their response to him is a "Stoney Silence" as both Christopher and the team are turned to stone. No other team was ever turned to stone, in fact no other team was 'killed' in Knightmare.
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The Dungeon Defeats You, Yet the Dungeon Salutes You

Despite a lack of proper defence Christopher, Paul, Kenneth and Chris become the current champions and wave goodbye from beyond the dungeon walls.
Final Thoughts

This team had a very easy ride from the start having everything almost handed to them on a plate. The usual falling obstacle tends to be not getting enough answers correct with the Level 1 wall monsters or with characters in Level 2 so not knowing which clue objects to take. From then on right up until Level 3 everything was an easy going affair that most teams could've easily dealt with. But it seems because of the generousity of the earlier levels that Level 3 was just down to pure luck. They came so close but failed to think defence. It will be interesting to see how much luck becomes a factor in for other teams that reach Level 3. Also Chris didn't get his glorious moment in being permitted to speak again to cast the 2nd spell given by Merlin. It can't have been much fun just watching Kenneth and Paul take charge all the time.

This quest was rather boring and only did interest peak when Level 3 was entered purely because it was something new. The encounters were mediocre having little in the way of entertainment except for Mildreads usual tricks and Cedric the Mad Monk. Even Folly failed to inject much life into the quest and Mogdreds attempts at adding tension failed miserably. It was fun watching Cedric getting trapped behind a large web though, but any pace was the destroyed by the boring Bumptious.

Next Team: Season 2 Team 4
Previous Team: Season 2 Team 2

Provided By: Forester, 2006-09-14 02:47:53
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2. Season 2 Team 3
From TES issue 24 (November 2003)

Series 2.
Quest: The Chalice.
Dungeoneer: Chris I.
Advisors: Paul, Kenneth and Chris.
Home town: St. Helens.
Team score: 7½ out of 10.

This was the second quest ever to reach level three, and its members were the overall Knightmare champions for a while. Watch this quest if you're game for a laugh - there are several to choose from.

Level One: The first task for Chris is to ring a bell in a room that has a large hole in the floor. Once he has done so, the hole is covered by an iron grate, creating a path to the doors. The next task is to walk speedily past the coiled-up boa constrictor, and then Chris reaches the clue room, where Granitas is on guard. With a great deal of help from Treguard, the team manage to answer two out three riddles correctly, and Granitas directs them into taking an egg timer and a sprig of the herb gravewort.
The next challenge is the fire-breathing statue, where Chris receives a burn to his bottom. There follows the first appearance on Knightmare of Olaf, who is in the maggots' cave. Olaf accepts the egg timer as a bribe ("Now Olaf can time his eggs to perfection!" - Olaf) and allows Chris to pass on to Mildread's chamber. The old witch has disguised herself as Treguard, and tries to persuade Chris to climb into her cauldron that is disguised as a well. Once Treguard has forced Mildread to return to her true form, the witch accepts the gravewort from Chris and uses it to turn her cauldron into the real wellway. With a prod from Mildread's stick, Chris climbs down the well and into level two.

Level Two: Folly is waiting for Chris at the foot of the well. He poses an easy riddle that Chris eventually answers correctly. Folly awards the spell WEB. This is used almost straightaway, as Cedric appears and blocks Chris's path. Uttering his usual string of insults, the mad monk demands the password. The WEB spell traps Cedric in a spider's web and Chris makes good his escape. One of the highlights of the quest occurs as Chris reaches the Mills of Doom, where the advisors take ages to direct him over the spinning cogs - their frustration as Chris goes the wrong way is very funny.
A quick trot over the Vale of Worms leads to the level two clue room, where Mogdred makes his very first Knightmare appearance. When he has finished taunting and sneering at Chris, the team decide to take a key and a spade from the clue table. The next room is the mine, where Bumptious the dwarf is busy looking for gold. He confiscates the spade from Chris on the grounds that he is not an official member of the Honorary Guild of Gold-miners [HOGG], but he does agree to take Chris on as a temporary apprentice. After some tedious official proceedings, Bumptious allows Chris to use some dynamite to blow an exit hole in the wall.
On the other side of this, Mogdred appears once more to chastise the team, but his threats prove to be idle. There is a locked door to be unlocked with the key before Chris reaches the wellway room. While he picks up a piece of the Chalice, Mogdred's hand comes crawling into the chamber - in true Lord Fear style – to try and grab the dungeoneer. However, Chris finds no problem in reaching the well and descends to the third level, the second person on Knightmare to do so.

Level Three: Treguard gives the low-down on the various dangers of level three before a hungry cavernwight arrives. Chris escapes into the level three clue room, where he picks up a horn and a jewel, leaving behind a certain important shield. There are more cavernwights to pass as well as a very depressed gargoyle that is continuously saying "DOOM!" like in the first Knightmare book. In his large level three chamber, Merlin appears to offer the team his congratulations on their progress and to give them the spell UNITAS. Unfortunately for the team, the next chamber contains Medusa and her stone stare. Without the magic shield to defend himself, Chris is turned into stone, as are his three advisors. Before they leave, Treguard congratulates them on becoming the current Knightmare champions, a title that is wrested from them by the very next team - Mark Wickson and chums, Knightmare's first winners.

Summary: They were fairly clever and often amusing to watch, but rather too slow and never really likely to be, as Treguard might say, the stuff of legend.

[Previous team: Team 2 of Series 2
Next team: Team 4 of Series 2]

Provided By: Eyeshield, 2007-01-21 21:26:37
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