From TES issue 40 (July 2006)

Series 1/3. Level 1/2.
GIANTS

Although there were plenty of giant monsters on Knightmare, there were only two actual giants. The trolls, for example, were certainly giant in their own right, but as Brother Strange makes clear in his claim "a giant can handle a troll" giants and trolls are not the same thing, even though they have remarkable similarities. Both of Knightmare's giants appeared relatively early on in the proceedings, made only two appearances each on the programme, and cannot really be considered as very memorable creatures. However, this is their fifteen minutes (or slightly shorter) of fame.

The Giant who inhabited a level one cave in series 1 is really a character in his own right, despite his infrequent and inconsequential appearances. The Giant was played by Edmund Dehn, who also played Gumboil in the series, although he is credited only as 'Knight' in the cast list at the end of each episode. The Giant first appeared in episode 2 of series 1, threatening to blast dungeoneer Simon into the Netherworld with a very explosive sneeze. Unfortunately for dungeoneers, it turned out, the Giant was allergic to humans. Simon managed to escape from the cave with a speedy dash, but when Helen met the Giant in episode 6 of the series, she was able to suggest a cure for his sneezing fits - holding his nose. The simple Giant was very pleased with this remedy, and is probably still sitting in his cave right now with his nose firmly held between thumb and forefinger, as that was how we left him after this, his second and final appearance on the programme.

In series 3, there was a very hairy-footed giant who hung around level two. His feet could be seen stamping around behind the five doors in what used to be the Moving Keyhole Chamber, and the task for any dungeoneer entering this room was to find a safe exit without being unceremoniously trodden on [by the giant foot]. As it turned out, only Cliff and Leo were presented with this challenge, both quite early on in the series. Cliff's encounter was nothing to write home about, but Leo's was more exciting, with the added hazard of a pesky axe haunting to spice up the proceedings. However, despite a brush with the axe, Leo lived on to fight another day.

Who's to say how many other giants found their way into the land of Knightmare over the years? Brother Strange obviously saw a few, kicking the living snot out of some very unlucky trolls, but there were never any more quests to feature giants. I don't think that giants will ever be remembered as a classic Knightmare creature, because they never really got the chance to prove themselves. However, if you like giants and you like Knightmare, there are four occasions where the two things mingle, so that should be enough to satisfy you to some small extent.

Fear Factor: 8 Big is scary, in this case at least.
Killer Instinct: 1 Unlikely to bag a victim.
Gore Factor: 9 That hairy foot was disgusting!
Humanity: 7 The size is the only difference, really.

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An unnamed giant who appeared in Series 1. His abode seemed to be an abyss next to a rocky path which more than one dungeoneer had to traverse. Treguard warned of giants' tendency towards carnivorousness and halitosis.
The Giant was neither overly menacing, nor overly enthusiastic about human passersby. Humans, being undersized to his eyes, reminded him of noisy dwarf workers. He also found that humans made him sneeze (although one team helpfully advised the moustachioed imbecile to put his finger to his nose as a countermeasure), and the risk of being caught in a mucous gale hastened dungeoneers on their way. In spite of situating himself by a thoroughfare, the Giant was keen on having peace in which to sleep - another reason for dungeoneers not to linger. (Though the giant foot obstacle in Series 3 could indicate that the Giant was eventually up and about.)

Thus, the Giant added texture to the burgeoning Dungeon in its early days, but never posed a serious threat to quests. The Troll in Series 2, a somewhat more demanding impediment, can be seen as his successor.

The Giant was played by Edmund Dehn, who shares the following memory of it:

'We were filming me at one end of the building & the dungeoneer at the other on a different camera, as I was supposed to be big enough to eat him!!! - My mouth as large as his whole body. And when I started to talk, the dungeoneer just kept right on walking & was nearly out of my "room" before I'd asked my question. I was not quick enough to improvise something to stop him in my "giant" voice & that was the only time with me that they ever had to do a second take with the dungeoneer - something they tried to avoid as the spontaneity might go.'

In October 2015, David Rowe produced, as part of his 'Dungeon archaeology' series, artwork showing the Giant's room with a giant skull present. It can be seen in his blog here.

[Previous versions: 2005-09-24 16:21:54, 2007-07-23 13:50:02]

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