From TES issue 37 (January 2006)
Series 5
Quest: The Cup.
Dungeoneer: Richard II.Advisors: Darren, Daniel and James.

Home town: Gillingham, Kent.
Team score: 6 out of 10.

A high-quality quest from series 5 this time, which was brought to a premature end for the lack of a bribe.

Level One: The quest begins with a ride on Smirkenorff, which leads to a castle where there is a clue table waiting. Through a spyglass, Skarkill asks Lord Fear for a pay rise, and gets turned down as usual. Richard equips himself with a purse of silver, and a bottle containing a very bad-tempered Pixel, who states that she will only come out and help Richard if he finds some flowers: "Fresh, spring flowers, that smell good! Otherwise I flaming well stays here!" - Pixel.
The team have to guide Richard through a surprisingly early causeway next, featuring [Paper Rock Scissors]. A trip through the Wolfglade leads to Wolfenden, where Richard is able to buy a bunch of flowers from a maiden [SEE: flower girl] in exchange for the silver. In a courtyard, Richard is accosted by Sylvester Hands. When the smelly vagabond tries to rob Richard, Pixel is released from the bottle. The pixie attacks Hands with her needle, as he is spoiling the smell of the flowers. Richard calls Pixel off, and Hands gives him the password - samurai - in exchange, before beating a hasty retreat. Pixel also makes herself scarce after this, so Richard is able to abandon the bottle and the flowers in the blocker's chamber, where the password is required to get past. Richard then reaches the Descender, and, after a quick tutorial from Brother Mace about how to use the device, the team are able to count four levels down, and Richard reaches level two.
Level Two: The team's first task is to release Motley from his imprisonment inside a giant Joker playing card. It takes the team ages to work out what to do, but eventually the necessary incantation - "Snap!" - is called out: "Think, gormless! What's the simple game where the Joker takes all?" - Motley. Motley is keen to point out to Richard how long he was waiting to be released: "I'm gonna call you Dicky. You're not very clever, are you?" - Motley. However, Motley accompanies Dicky into the greenwood, where Gwendoline appears and chases Motley off with her bow and arrows, after the jester's usual professions of undying love, of course. Gwendoline gives the team some useful information about the level, including the fact that they have to get the password from Oakley, and that they will need supplies from Ariadne's lair in order to bribe their way through to the Gate Tower.
When Richard reaches Ariadne's glade, there is a spyglass, a bar of gold and a horn on a tree stump. Ariadne soon appears and begins to advance, and Richard begins to rush off with only the spyglass in hand. Unfortunately, his advsiors - in a blind panic as the spider approaches - tell Richard to take the horn as well, which he does, leaving behind the precious bar of gold.
Oakley's glade follows, where Richard makes use of the spyglass. Lord Fear instructs Skarkill to intercept Richard before he reaches the end of level two. Fear's instructions reveal the causeway code - red, blue, green and grey. Richard then awakens Oakley, who sets a question for the team. They answer this with no problems, and Oakley tells them the password - leaf-mould. The causeway and the blocker are then duly passed with relative ease, but Skarkill succeeds in catching up with Richard. Without the gold to bribe him, the quest is sadly doomed. The team work their little socks off trying to convince Skarkill that they can give him a magic horn, but to no avail: "Magic horn? Oh, no it's not! I'm gonna put my irons on you!" - Skarkill. The break between episodes 3 and 4 of the series during this fatal encounter added to the tension and excitement most effectively. Ah, that's classic Knightmare!
Summary: A very intelligent team who had the potential to do really well, but were hurried into an early mistake by Ariadne, a hazard encountered by no other team in series 5. Ah, well...

[Previous team: Team 1 of Series 5
Next team: Team 3 of Series 5]

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